The anomaly called life.

Yes this is basically a normal post about the things I have learnt here in London. Although this might sound like I have given up on the job situation here in London, I haven't. I just made peace with the fact that the chance might exist that the circumstances here might force me to go back home. I made peace with that.

Goodbye to romance.

Now onto those things I learnt here in London. Some of it might sound like common sense, but those points especially was made clear here in London.
1. Family first - Put my family first, tell them first how much they mean to me.
2. Friends rule - True, old and new friends that I have made here, helped me through a lot of things.
3. The pope IS God, funny he died recently. Thats how the people in london see him anyway.
4. Women still remains a mystery.

Now, to apply the first two things to my life. I will appreciate family, and I will let them know ALMOST everyday how much I appreciate them, through actions or through words. The same goes for friends, I might even organise a braai once a month at my place, just to tell them how much I do appreciate them.

Diary of a madman.

Yes, thats my bit, hoped you like the ride thusfar. I will surely post more, it is not the end of The ozz is my shepherd. I will continue posting, in london, or in SA(hopefully in london). So hopefully I will make the best of the situation thats placed before me. I have to go off and call some more security companies(Yup, I am looking into security AS my last resort). I will keep you guys posted on my happenings.
But before I call them, I will just go over to smithy's place (smithydude.blogspot.com) and post a couple of obscenities on his site, because HE WONT POST.

ROCKnROLL
Leras

A post while I am at the trail

Another quickie.

Yes I am at the trail again, and yes, I have picked up a few extra japanese words, and yes, I am surrounded by japanese nurses!!!!
Life is good for now...

The real reason for posting this follows.
I have just decided that my 'situation'(as I call it) is just one of life's obstacles I have to overcome, either by staying here, or going back to Good ol' SA. I have decided to hang in here for a couple of more weeks, and if I dont find work, I will be going back to SA.
I mean I have proven to myself that I am capable of surviving on my own, in ANOTHER country, how difficult could it be in SA, I know there are buggerall job opportunities in SA, but I think... no, I KNOW I will survive.

So thats my tupence for now, see ya guys/gals later(maybe)

ROCKnROLL
Leras

I'm slowly dying

Well, not really...

Depression is a bitch.

Yeah I am depressed at the moment, for a couple of reasons, lets start naming them, shall we?
1. I have no job(keep remembering that I am in london)
2. I have no money.
3. Everything is looking for the worse at the moment.

Yeah thats basically it. The man who said money is not everything wasn't jobless and pennyless in london. Sure money isn't EVERYTHING, but it can surely make your life on helluva bit better.

My options at this stage.

Going back to South Africa. Holding on to the bitter end and if it doesn't look good then go back to South Africa. Let's explore these options.

Going back to South Africa - Meaning that I am a Fucking failure, a loser, a dropout, a wuss, I could come up with more names, but I am too tired to think of anymore. Then there is the NO JOBS in South Africa bit. Sure I could become a waiter and earn lets say R500 a week. But the thing is that I will be living with my parents, I dont really want to do that, after living on my own for about one year. If I go back now, I will be even more depressed.

Option number 2 Holding on to the bitter end and if it doesn't look good then go back to South Africa - This is the more viable option for obvious reasons, yeah sure I will still be a fucking failure, loser etc. But I will be a lesser one. If I hold out, then I might get a better job here in london, and I can continue with some of my afore mentioned dreams i.e the ROCK STAR, seeing OzzY Osbourne live, going to the big premiere of Star Wars episode 3 etc. There is also a potential girlfriend on the horizon at the moment, and if I leave now, I would kick myself if I didn't explore that option.

So I guess I am doing option number 2, I have got some money coming in, from the medical trials and some for the little amount of general labour that I did.

There must be hope somewhere.

The stroke of bad luck that I had lately can't really continue on forever, otherwise the power that be has a very strange sense of humour. So I guess, no, I know there should be a 'silver' lining somewhere out there between the humourless buildings of London.

Information for the uninformed.

I still can't shake this feeling of immense dread whenever I am thinking of going back home, there's nothing back there for me jobwise, and I sure as hell don't want to go back to my hometown, south africa is complicated, it is a third world country with a couple of first world cities, I would like to go live in one of them, Cape Town more specifically.
And if I should go back home now, I will become something that I have always been afraid of, I would stagnate in Bloemfontein, and eventually rot.

Any comments/suggestions? Place them here, or email me at shsteyn@yahoo.co.uk, or the default one of darkhumor@webmail.co.za.

rocknroll
leras